Growing up, most of us heard this from our moms: ‘If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.’
What a concept this is.
Even though a thought forms in your head – it doesn’t have to come out of your mouth! Because we all know – what comes out of our mouths can undoubtedly be hurtful at times, and it may even leave lasting emotional scars.
We like to call this TAE:
Our thoughts lead to our actions. Our actions (whether good or bad) can then lead to our emotions. Have you ever caught yourself at the beginning of a negative thought spiral? One little thought can lead to a misspoken word or a poor action. The negative emotions then follow, affecting the whole of the relationship.
But, we do have a choice (as Mom was always good to point out!)!
…and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds.. Ephesians 4:23
And we like to call this PMA:
When we choose a Positive Mental Attitude, perhaps our Thoughts, Actions, and Emotions ‘outcome’ will be much better.
For example, when we strive to focus on the positive (thoughts) rather than the negative characteristics of our spouse, we will speak encouraging and affirming words to them (actions). This, in turn, will lead to a more connected relationship (emotions).
When Tim and I have gone through times of struggle, we have had to intentionally choose to maintain our positive mental attitude toward one another. We’ve had to purposefully make choices to tame our thoughts, our actions, and our emotions when they want to run wild. We know it’s not always easy! Have we always gotten it just right? No! But we keep choosing PMA toward each other and in life’s situations.
And – we will never forget Mom’s sage advice to just not say anything at all if it isn’t nice!
Choose each other first through Positive Mental Attitude and then with your Thoughts, Actions, and Emotions. We promise it’s a daily decision you will never look back and regret.