Blue Baby Syndrome
My youngest son, Patrick, recently had a birthday. As I contemplated this special day, I was taken back to the day of his birth. Although Patrick is a grown man now, that day and the days to follow are forever etched into my mind.
What should have been a joyous day with baby snuggles and congratulations all around quickly became a time of uncertainty, pain, sadness – and separation.
You see, as a premature baby, Patrick had ‘Blue Baby Syndrome’ at birth. He had to be resuscitated. It was terrifying. All the hustle and bustle in the room over concern and extra care for my son made my head swim. I was utterly distraught.
And then – my new, tiny, helpless little boy was whisked away from my arms and airlifted to a hospital 6 hours away.
As I had complications during the delivery as well, I was given medication to make me rest.
Lost and Devastated
However, when I woke up, I felt lost and devastated all over again. Where was everyone? Anyone?
I woke up to no doctor, nurse, no husband to comfort me – and most unbearable of all – no son held tightly in my arms. Despite all the noise of the hospital around me, I felt entirely isolated and abandoned.
The next few days and weeks were a blur, with Patrick hours away and Tim trying his best to care for our family and me. Yet, despite the sadness, we did our best to keep our little family together.
What came next, I could never have imagined. I started a support group because of the challenging circumstances surrounding Patrick’s birth. God gave me the vision to help other parents who would go through birth stories like mine. I held their hands, cried with them, comforted them, and assured them that with much prayer and medical support, they and their babies were going to be ok.
Pain Birthed Purpose
God stretched me so far out of my comfort zone! I met with the March of Dimes Board of Directors to seek financial support for my organization. I created training materials for medical professionals, ensuring other mothers wouldn’t wake up alone, afraid, and left in the dark – feeling helpless.
Amid my birth experience with Patrick, I couldn’t see a purpose for my pain. But, as I allowed the Lord to use my pain and experience, I found my purpose.
For Such A Time As This
This reminds me of one of my favorite Bible stories, the story of Queen Esther. Esther didn’t understand the uncertain and frightening situation God had called her to. But she understood she was created ‘for such a time as this.’ So she allowed her pain and challenges to be used for a purpose greater than herself. And she saved her people.
While you and I may not have a purpose quite like Esther’s, we can undoubtedly learn – as I did – that through our pain comes purpose.
As I consider the days surrounding our baby boy’s birth, I can see the hand of God in my life. The purpose in my pain. He let me be the hands and feet of Jesus to others – because of my pain.
And if you seek Him in your struggles and allow Him to work in you through the pain, He will also lead you to your calling and purpose.
And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?