It’s fine … I’m fine … Everything’s fine…
We see and hear that everywhere these days. T-shirts, memes, Facebook posts. Even well-meaning friends and family members may gloss right over our true feelings, leaving us to feel the need to say we’re ‘fine.’
But what if we’re really.. not fine?
FINE or Fine?
Maybe it’s actually a case of FINE?
F – Feelings
I – I’m
Feelings I’m Not Expressing. I’m feeling all the emotions, just not expressing them. Holding them in.
I know I’ve certainly been there on more than one occasion.
But why would we feel the need to hide our feelings and not express them?
Often times we use ‘FINE’ rather than sharing our true feelings because –
Comparisons Lead to FINE
Sharing just doesn’t feel safe
It may feel as though others don’t really care
It feels like my situation is worse than anyone else’s
I think I’m alone in my situation; nobody else has gone through what I’m going through
It seems as though everyone else has a perfect life – while I’m still struggling
When we hold back and don’t share what’s truly in our hearts and on our minds, it can affect our mental and physical health. The things burdening us will feel larger, grow more significant, and continue to fester in our minds.
When you find yourself stuck in ‘FINE’ (I’m not talking about the good one!), here are a couple things you can do to help yourself become unstuck:
Safe Places and Sharing
Find a safe place to share: a community such as Broken and Beautiful (a private Facebook group) – where you are accepted, loved, and most of all – protected.
Talk with a safe person: a trusted friend or family member. A counselor, coach, or pastor.
Just share. Allow that safe person or community to be a shelter for your feelings.
When I found out that my husband had an affair, I was overcome with emotion; completely distraught and utterly devastated. I had to choose. Stay in FINE, or reach out to those around me whom I trusted, and get support and encouragement in my journey to healing.
I will choose the path to healing and wholeness through sharing and connecting.
How about you? What steps can you take today to move around the FINE, allowing yourself to find a safe place and begin to share?
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.